a winter morning

i was finishing this research paper for Fiber sculpture class
then i noticed everything from backyard become visible again.. ..its morning !
my dad came down stairs queity.
As his daily routine, started boiling water, poured some stone like cat food into their bowl,
came back to living room and turned on the TV.
i wonder why cats never get bored with those dry and tasteless(i tried once)food. they are cat!!!
supposed to be curious for new? but not tastewise? hmm.....i really want to ask them..

after saving the essay, some gloomy images flashing in my head. they are memories

i was little , around 6 or 7 years old. i lived in Beijing at 4th floor ,there was no elevator inside that 1970's building.
i came home with dad at night, we had to walk up those stairs
it was really tiring for me since my legs were tiny as lotus root

its often dark at stairway, everytime i had to walk in front of my dad
so there won't be "bad guy" attack me from behind and sell me out of city
i was always scared and even imagined what if my dad was the actual bad guy!!!
even i walked in the front, i would run suddenly untill i reached the door.

but i never took a chance to walk behind my dad
cuz i thought...what if "bad guy" takes me away silently , my dad won't even notice!!!
i believed bad guy would takes me away and price me as a bag of tomato
just like how i believed when grandma said" policeman is coming to get u if u
wont' come out from the closet" .the police!! the person who has gun!
so scary!.i would be shaking and trying to bury myself by cloth...
maybe i was the actual bad guy?

1~2~3! bk to now~!!

ah..seems cold outside~

styrofoam white sky, a clean solid looking.....

somehow makes me excited

is it because of Monday?